


Movie Night

by Reed_Zone_Alert (Eliza_Reed)



Series: In the Wampire Hall of Fang, Yeah [4]
Category: Count Duckula
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, These Two Need More Wholesome Moments Together, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25528894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eliza_Reed/pseuds/Reed_Zone_Alert
Summary: Duckula almost threw up at the size of the price, but wordlessly managed to pay for his food. He was also able to squeeze out a “Can I have my receipt please?” before taking the purchased snacks and drinks. Igor had returned from the loo at this point, apparently having encountered a ridiculously long line of people in there.“If only I had brought my portable guillotine,” Igor muttered in frustration as the trio trudged their way to the auditorium where the film was being shown.Duckula didn’t notice his butler’s current misery, as he was too busy rambling quotes from the movie. “‘Luke, I am yourfather,’”he said before giggling giddily in excitement. “Oooh, I can’t wait, I can’t wait! Luke Skywaddler and Hen Solo, here we come!”
Relationships: Count Duckula & Igor (Count Duckula)
Series: In the Wampire Hall of Fang, Yeah [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818502
Kudos: 2





	Movie Night

A certain trio stood outside the Roxy movie theatre, with the smallest bird of the group paying for their tickets. “Okay,” Duckula said to himself as he pulled the needed money out of his pockets. “Twelve Transylvanian drachmas for three tickets to see _Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.”_ He set the money on the counter in front of him and waited as the teller rummaged around for the tickets. After trading the money for the tickets, the Count shuffled back over to Igor and Nanny, babbling excitedly. “Can you believe it- we’re gonna finally get to see Star Wars in _theatres!_ We’ll have luxury seats to sit in, yummy snacks to eat to our hearts’ content-”

“Milord, we have this film on _tape,”_ Igor interrupted. “Why is it that we must waste precious money on this nonsensical escapist fiction when it _could_ be used to purchase a new front door?”

“Because, Igor,” Duckula started as the three of them marched into the theatre, “that door is _always_ getting destroyed without fail. Besides, it’s not often we get to go to the theatre, and this reshowing of _The Empire Strikes Back_ is the perfect excuse- especially since nothing else good is on.” He handed their tickets to the ticket taker, who ripped the tickets and then handed them back to him.

As the three made their way down to the concession area, Nanny declared, “Well I don’t like it- all them boys shootin’ and stabbin’ one another! They ought to be ashamed of themselves for carryin’ on like that!”

“I shall certainly hope we do not have a repeat of the last time we came to the movies, sir,” Igor said unenthusiastically as recalled the time they all went to see _The Lost Valley_. “I had a very difficult time explaining to the dry cleaner as to how my suit got to be run over by a Transylvanian Tiger- not once, not twice, but thrice.”

“‘Transylvanian Tiger??’” Duckula muttered as he approached the concession counter. “Oh, you mean that one car during that advertisement right before they showed _The Lost Valley again.”_ He turned towards the worker stationed at the counter. “Uhh, one extra-large tub of _unbuttered_ popcorn, one large root beer and one large soda, an ice cream sandwich pack, and a large tray of moldy nachos for the butler over here.”

“Do make certain that the nachos have extra mold,” Igor added, chuckling darkly and rubbing his hands together. Perhaps at least the nachos would make up for the positively horrific evening that would surely ensue. “I wish to taste _only_ the mold, not that _disgusting_ corn flour.”

The worker could only give the vulture a bewildered stare. They stuttered for a moment, barely managing to form a sentence. “Well- um- sir- I- I hate to inform you but-” They swallowed hard as they considered their next words, before continuing, “- it’s against company policy to sell our customers moldy nachos.”

Igor growled irritably for a moment before replying, “Very well then- I will take your most rancid slider on a moldy bun.”

“… Sir… I can’t sell you that either,” the worker told him. “It’s-”

“Against company policy?”

“Yes…”

“Nggghhh!” Duckula facepalmed, and slid his hand down his beak dramatically. “You have gotta be- I just- is there anything moldy or rancid you can give him?”

“No…”

“I will be quite alright without food, milord,” Igor told the young Master. “I will simply wait until we return to the castle before getting anything to eat. Now, if you will excuse me, I intend to use the restrooms now while I have the chance.” With that, the butler walked off towards the loo.

“Okay, so…” Duckula turned back towards the worker.

“That’ll be thirty drachmas,” the worker told him, fixing their glasses so they sat level on their beak.

“Thirty- _thirty_ drachmas- just for- I- _THIRTY_ drachmas?!?!!” The Count’s volume had risen considerably by this point. He covered his face with his hands dramatically, and started to breathe erratically- in short, he started to hyperventilate.

“Oh, my bad!” the worker exclaimed, looking down at the receipt in their hands. “I meant forty-two drachmas.”

Duckula almost threw up at the size of the price, but wordlessly managed to pay for his food. He was also able to squeeze out a “Can I have my receipt please?” before taking the purchased snacks and drinks. Igor had returned from the loo at this point, apparently having encountered a ridiculously long line of people in there.

“If only I had brought my portable guillotine,” Igor muttered in frustration as the trio trudged their way to the auditorium where the film was being shown.

Duckula didn’t notice his butler’s current misery, as he was too busy rambling quotes from the movie. “‘Luke, I am your _father,’”_ he said before giggling giddily in excitement. “Oooh, I can’t wait, I can’t wait! Luke Skywaddler and Hen Solo, here we come!”

* * *

_Halfway through the film… outside the theatre…_

One by one, Duckula, Igor, and Nanny were thrown out the front door of the theatre by the security guard. “AND STAY OUT!!” the guard snarled before slamming the glass door shut.

Duckula landed face first in a puddle and sputtered as water sloshed into his beak. “Yuck- yuck- ughh!” He quickly scrambled to his feet and whipped around to face the theatre. “Yeah, well!- who wants to sit on leather seats anyway?! They get all _sticky_ from your sweat if you sit in ‘em long enough and then it’s hard to get out! And another thing! I got _buttered_ popcorn when I specifically asked for _unbuttered!”_

“Milord,” Igor said as he stumbled to his feet, joints cracking loudly, “I do not believe they can hear you.”

“They’s a nasty lot they’s are,” Nanny remarked, fixing her sling (which had gotten loosened when she was thrown out). “It’s them violent movies that’s got them makin’ a terrible fuss! They ought to be ashamed of themselves!”

Unexpectedly, the theatre doors swung open and out flew Goosewing- who was apparently being booted out by the guard as well. “AND YOU STAY OUT TOO!!” The poor goose landed face first in the exact same puddle Duckula landed in just moments before. Goosewing sputtered, spitting out the mucky water.

 _“Verdammte!”_ Goosewing screeched as he scurried to his feet. He turned right around and shouted at the theatre, shaking his fist in anger, “I couldn’t help it- I am a wampire hunter! I zhought zhe wampire on zhe screen vas real! It looked real to me!”

Meanwhile Duckula just shook his head and motioned for Igor and Nanny to follow him back to the castle. None of them were in much of a mood to deal with Goosewing and his antics, especially at this time of night. Goosewing continued to scream and yell at the theatre, completely oblivious to the fact that his arch nemesis had been right there next to him only a second ago.

* * *

_Back at the castle…_

“It was a tad bit of a shame we could not finish the film, sir,” Igor remarked as he stood outside the bathroom while Duckula- now in his usual pajamas- was brushing his teeth. “I was just beginning to enjoy it- I find that Darth Sidious character to be _deliciously_ evil.”

“Wait- you were actually _watching_ it, Igor?” Duckula asked after spitting his toothpaste out into the sink. He washed his mouth out thoroughly and then stepped out the door, regarding his butler with some surprise. “Like, you didn’t fall asleep right when it started??”

“As much as I would have preferred to take a nap, milord,” Igor replied, “I wanted to make an effort to… well…”

“To connect with me? To express an interest in my- well- interests?”

“Something like that,” Igor amended. A split second later, the vulture found himself being pulled into a tight hug by his Master, who had wrapped his arms around the butler’s shoulders. Igor stiffened at the unexpected physical contact. “Sir- m-milord- I-” He stopped stuttering after a moment and forced himself to relax- it wasn’t as if one hug was going to kill him, right? After another few seconds or so, he lifted his hands and rested them on Duckula’s back in an attempt to return the gesture.

Another moment, and then they pulled away from each other.

“Thanks, Igor,” Duckula said.

Igor merely hummed in response.

It was at that moment Nanny came crashing through the wall, a chain with a busted collar attached to it in her hands. “Ohh, Master Duckuler! Mister Igor! It’s terrible! Towser’s gone missing!”

“Alright, alright, Nanny, calm down,” Duckula said. “Let’s see if we can find him- he can’t have gotten too far.”

_ THE END, and good night out there- WHATEVER YOU ARE!! _

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive criticism is always appreciated! Flames are NOT.


End file.
